Is a Long Distance Relationship a Good Idea in College?
It appears as though love is a popular topic among my fellow bloggers lately, and I wanted to get in on the fun! Something that I think a lot of people deal with in regard to romantic relationships in college is deciding whether or not to pursue somebody who doesn’t go to the same college as they do. Obviously there are many opinions on whether doing so is a good or bad idea, but I’m going to give my insight on long distance relationships in school. As somebody who has experienced both an on campus relationship and a long distance relationship, I would consider myself somebody you can trust with this topic! Cool? Cool. 🙂
While on Cyclone Life you have surely read about many places and ways you can meet the love of your life at Iowa State. I don’t think the topic of whether a long distance relationship is a good idea or not has been discussed in depth. So, let’s do it!
For starters, whether a relationship is or isn’t long distance, a successful one takes work. However a long distance one, I would say, takes a little more work than a typical relationship. Why? The obvious reason is because in order to see each other face to face, you have some kind of a distance to travel. This requires time and quite a bit of money (depending on how long the commute is). Beyond the obvious travel that is required to put in, there is also a lot of emotional work that has to go into long distance relationships. Trust needs to be strong between the two people since the ability to “keep tabs” on your other half is not there. (Not that keeping tabs is a healthy idea in any relationship… just throwing that out there.) Patience also needs to be had by both people since not being able to see each other whenever you want is a frustrating thing.
I’m not saying that relationships that aren’t long distance don’t require time, money, trust, and patience because they obviously do. I think they just affect the two different relationships in different ways.
So, if you’re in or thinking about getting into a long distance relationship, it’s important to be willing to put in the work for it to be successful! If you guys read my blog earlier in the semester about the surprise I received from my boyfriend (if not, go see it here), you know that the relationship I’m in is long distance. We schedule phone calls, ooVoo dates, and visits with each other that work for both of our schedules to make it work for us.
Instead of only listing the costs of being in a long distance relationship, let’s not forget that there are rewards, too! Long distance relationships can actually increase the closeness of the relationship. (Weird, right?) But seriously, not having the chance to talk or hang out whenever you want really makes the times you do get together more special. For some, overcoming the odds of the distance also can make the relationship more fulfilling.
As with everything in life, long distance relationships have their pros and cons. I think the most important thing to take away from this is that it all depends on the people in the relationship. If the people want to commit to making it work, it can work. That’s for sure. That being said, if you want to make something long distance work while you’re at school, give it a try! Find ways to be supportive of your partner other than physically being with them. However, if the people aren’t really feeling the whole commitment thing while being distanced from each other, it may be a good idea to avoid pursuing that long distance relationship at school (or anywhere, really).
As I mentioned before, I have been in a relationship where we both went to Iowa State. While it was easy to see each other and spend time together, obviously it didn’t work out. Are close relationships easier? Sure. Are they better? Not necessarily. Keep in mind that being close to each other doesn’t always equal a success, and long distance doesn’t always equal a failure, and vise versa.
My point isn’t to tell you that you should or shouldn’t pursue a long distance relationship. I only know what I’ve personally experienced. I do want to say that long distance relationships can be successful; that shouldn’t be forgotten among all the negative things associated with them! If you’re dealing with having to make a decision about a long distance relationship, my best advice is to consider the work involved and then follow your heart! As cliché as it may sound, isn’t that what finding love is supposed to be all about?