A lot of people look forward to meeting “the one” in college. Are you looking for a long-term relationship, or just a short relationship?
I think that experiencing romantic relationships can be an important part of self discovery and self growth. You learn not only about your capacity to be with another person, communication skills, how to make sacrifices or compromise, but you also learn a lot about yourself that you never knew before.
Relationships in college are really different from the ones you may have had in high school. While you and your partner may have had a similar schedule in high school, people have vastly different schedules when they enter college. For both parties to be happy, you will have to find the right balance of spending time together and when those best times are.
While I can’t say that I’m an expert or anything, I have learned some important things that I would like to share what I’ve learned to people who are going to start their first college relationship.
Be sure to focus on you. Sure, that person may be really cute. But a healthy sleeping schedule, good grades, and obtaining a college degree is much cuter. I’ve seen plenty of people sacrificing everything just to spend more time with their significant other, and while that can be great, you should remember that you’re living for you. Get the things that are important and vital to you done first. A relationship shouldn’t take away from your life; it should be something healthy that you add onto your life.
Make sure to have other strong friendships outside of your relationship. I think one of the biggest mistakes that a lot of college students make when they start dating is that they drop everyone else from their life and only spend time with their significant other. That is a huge mistake for many reasons. First of all, when you spend too much time with someone, it becomes easier to annoy each other. Second of all, it can be hurtful to your friends when you suddenly disappear from their lives. And finally, when you cut off your other friendships for your significant other and you guys break up, it will be a much harder transition and you will feel like you are lacking a support system.
Communicate. Your partner can’t read your mind. You may think that things work a certain way, but your partner has had different experiences that shape how they decide to do things. Neither of you are right or wrong in most cases, you just need to talk about things before it becomes a big issue. I think a lot of people expect others to just know what they want, but a boyfriend or girlfriend is not your answer to happiness or your personal therapist. They’re just another clueless human being, like you and me.
Have fun with it. Everyone is different when it comes to relationships, but there’s no good in worrying too much or stressing out about it. You don’t have to take things so seriously. If you do end up meeting “the one” in college, that’s great! But if you don’t, you should know that you are still young and you are just starting your life as an adult.
So, shoot your shot! Good luck.